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*This is a huge lie.

Sources have confirmed a rumor claiming that Andrew has had a long time crush on the X-Men character, Jubilee (aka Jubilation Lee). “I’ve never really had Asian fever, but I think Jubilee’s really hot,” comments Andrew. “I see sparks even when she’s not using her mutant powers.”

When asked how this attraction effects his personal life, Andrew answered “well, one of the main reasons why I’m dating my current girlfriend is that both of their names start with a J. Sometimes I pretend that Jen can shoot sparks out of her hands and it’s really cool. Sometimes I play make belief and imagine myself as Static Shock and we’re a crazy dynamic duo. Too bad Static Shock is DC and Jubilee is Marvel… I think of how awesome they would be together and just sigh… snap.” Jen says “at first, I thought this was all a joke, but I think Andrew may have some much deeper issues we’re going to have to deal with. I’m not sure how I feel about this whole Jubilation thing yet. I mean, she can shoot little sparks out of her hands, how am I supposed to compete with that?”

Childhood classmate, Viraj, recalls “Andrew always used to bring Uncanny X-Men #244 to class and read it when we were supposed to read The Berenstain Bears. Honestly, I was a little jealous until I realized how consumed he was when he kicked a Chinese girl, Nancy, in the face when she said that Jubilee didn’t even look Asian.” The incident Viraj recalls resulted in Nancy falling into a metal pole and damaging the back of her skull. When asked about the attack, she recalls, “every time I feel the dent in the back of my head, I think of how obsessed Andrew is over Jubilee. I mean like, jeez, I was just saying she didn’t look Chinese, how was I supposed to know?”

Despite the personal issues this attraction may result in for Andrew, Jubilee is most definitely AndrewApproved.


  1. The only person on this entire planet that might like Jubilee is Chad based on his previous choices (Dharma and Greg).

    comment by Andrew — October 17, 2006 @ 10:21 am

  2. Dharma and Greg… that’s a good idea. =)

    comment by Oliver — October 17, 2006 @ 11:53 am

  3. I’ll stop mentioning things I don’t like from now on.

    comment by Andrew — October 17, 2006 @ 2:35 pm

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